Comfort Zones

I have received  many emails with this same particular theme:”Why does it feel so wrong when I let go of things that I WANT to let go of!”  or “How can I get rid of things I want to get rid of, when it feels so bad to do it?!”One of my Tidy Tutor University Rock Stars began to voice how hard it felt to get rid of her possessions, and was comparing herself to one of those people on the TV show, “Hoarders”

She had been sending me pics of the mess at home, and the tremendous progress she was making as well.

She had stuff going out to good will, experienced realizations of how much of NOTHING was filling up space in her house and how good it felt to finally let go!

But through it all, she was beating herself up in the process.

Because, while it felt good, it also felt bad.

The reason for that is because when we do something that feels counterintuitive, we are going against the grain, we are doing something that feels somehow wrong… even when we are convinced it is right.

If you are wondering how good things can bring pain to us, think about anything you have done that is new to you.

Is it possible to start an exercise program and not feel pain in your body?  In fact, if you DON’T feel pain, you question if you actually did anything at all.

Everything we do, that impliments improvement has pain attached at first.

What about beginning a garden on a plot of land that was just LAWN before it was started, or beginning to learn a musical instrument.

IT HURTS!!!!! And often, the pain is the assurance we are doing something right!

We feel SOOOOOOOO good when we come home from the gym hurting, don’t we?!

When we begin to feel “pain” from adopting a new behavior, such as purging our possessions, it is the same thing we experience when beginning an exercise program, it hurts, but it is difficult to see as the same beneficial practice.

The next logical occurrence is, we wonder if we are doing something wrong.

We are taught to “go with our gut” and so, if it FEELS wrong to purge, we stop ourselves and wonder if we are doing something wrong.

Do you see how this could be? We need to realize that sometimes we can’t follow what feels like “Gut Instinct”

If you are battling with the pain of letting go of stuff, and the change you are going through while implementing new habits, or maybe you are thinking that you are sabotaging your efforts, this video will really help you.

Sometimes when we get what we have always wanted, or things are going well (at a time when you are used to things always going wrong) we can feel that it isn’t good, simply because it is unfamiliar.

It is not what we are used to. Our brains misread the good for bad because it is foreign.

I give examples of this happening to me in the video.

*Taking a course that will help my career (breaking into magazines) and not allowing myself to implement the lessons
*being invited to an opera at The Met and feeling like it was so wrong to accept the invitatioin.
*a girlfriend gifted me a 10 day trip to the Caribbean and I thought I SHOULD NOT GO! (It felt so wrong to even be invited)

Why? Because our comfort zones are powerful things.

Being in a comfort zone makes an abused child cling to their abuser and a battered wife not want to leave her husband.

This is where the rubber meets the road!

I believe one reason that knowledge is power is because when we are aware of something we can implement it.  Desired change can only happen with action. We can not put something into action if we are not aware that it is a need.

With knowledge about WHY we feel how we feel, we can push through the pain and experience our desired results.

Will you break free of what has held you back?  Will you embrace some rough spots to ride on the smooth highway of life?  Sometimes, to reach goals or to get what we really want, doing what doesn’t feel good, is just what the doctor ordered.

I often will talk to a few friends and family. I try to talk to 5 of them, this way I get a well rounded opinion, and I make sure that I ask people who have healthy living practices, they enjoy life, treat people and themselves well, are open minded and of course love me.

I really suggest that you watch the video.  Please leave a comment I would love to hear what you are thinking.

Much Love,

The Tidy Tutor

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