This is a blog that I did last Year in January, I thought it was a great one to share today for Motivation Monday. Let me know what you think.
Today we’re going to talk about something called “Relative Deprivation”.
Relative Deprivation was a concept coined by a sociologist (Samuel Stouffer) during WWII who discovered that we measure ourselves against the people we believe to be our contemporaries. We may feel deprived of what we think should be, relative to the lives of those we see around us.
In the book David and Goliath Malcolm Gladwell uses Stouffer’s theory to paint a vivid picture of what often happens to those in the academic world based on their college of choice.
He writes about a woman who loved science her entire life, dreamed of becoming a scientist but soon after changed her major based on her assessment of her abilities as compared to her counterparts.
Malcolm Gladwell states that this occurrence is rather the norm and not the exception among top university students.
For example:
If you went to Harvard, you did better academically than most people in the world. But if you only got into Harvard by the skin of your teeth, you might feel inferior because you are measuring yourself against your peers at Harvard, not the whole world. You may begin to feel that you don’t have what it takes, and you might give up on your goals.
On the other hand, if you were good enough for Harvard but chose to attend a State school instead, you would be at the top of your class. Doing better than those around you might have given you the confidence you needed to achieve what you wanted.
So in which case would you be more successful? Attending an ivy league school but not accomplishing your ultimate goals, or graduating from a state school with the degree and credentials to live your dream?
Is how we compare ourselves to others stopping us from accomplishing what we want?
If we are constantly comparing ourselves to Martha Stewart, June Cleaver, the oh-my-god-how-does-she-do-it best friend, neighbor or sister, of course we are going to feel inferior, and lack the confidence to reach our goals.
I am writing this on January 25th and my Christmas tree is still up in my foyer. And I don’t care. I don’t have to measure myself up against anybody else.
I’ve learned how to organize my life based on what is important to me instead of what others think it should be, and I can teach you too.
A wonderful example is a woman named Angela Jia Kim. She has a business called Om Aroma Therapy in NYC and her natural skin care products can be purchased worldwide. She is also the founder of a woman’s entrepreneur support and education group called “Savor the Success.” And do you know what she calls her life?
Gorgeous Chaos!
She doesn’t measure her life against anyone else. It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have it together, SHE DOES but it’s very different than what you might think.
She was interviewed on The Today Show discussing the topic “What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast” and one thing was they wake up really early. But each day was different and acceptable to her.
You don’t have to call yourself less than, not as good as, or “Disorganized”. You can call your life “Gorgeous Chaos”, because that’s what it is!
You can make that Gorgeous Chaos so manageable that having a Christmas tree up in January doesn’t matter to you because the things that do matter are taken care of.
This is not about perfect. It’s about happy.
So no matter what stage of the game you are in; if your house is a complete disaster and you don’t know where to start…if your life outside the home is amazing but you can’t get it together behind your front door…if you’re a stay at home mom or dad and wonder why you are always working but nothing ever gets done…
I have a system and a plan that will work for you.
But one of the things that you’ve got to remember is that there is nothing wrong with you. Just because you wait until January 25th to take down your tree, or anything else the world says you have to do but that doesn’t matter to you personally…don’t call your life a failure, call it “Gorgeous Chaos” like Angela Jia Kim does. See yourself as wonderful.
Of course there are some things we’ve got to get done, and I can help you get those things organized so that you have more time to do the things you love.
I invite you to get my Ten Tips that will transform your life, TheTidyTutor.com. You will get one a day for ten days, in your email box.
When you’re ready to get serious, you can enroll in Tidy Tutor University, and really begin your journey to order. (For a limited time it’s only $1 to check out!!)
There are lots of us inside of Tidy Tutor University, and we’re all in a private member’s area where we help each other, encourage and support one another, and share the fabulous results we get.
You can live your dream of having an organized house and an organized life, while still believing you are wonderful just the way you are!
I look forward to seeing you on the inside! Check out my system, and you will find out about you!
Much Love,
Kathy
P.S.
Here is a link to my course Tidy Tutor University. You can try it out right now for only $1!!